A Father's Fear
by Medie
Summary: During the events of Fathers and Sons, a comment was put to Frank Donovan. About taking a chance with a child's life, namely his own. It seemed to the Attorney General that Frank couldn't understand because he's not a father: but what if he was? (spoilers


Author's note: This is an experiment to say the least. I've become quite addicted to  
Frank Donovan on UC:Undercover despite the fact I've seen only three eps. One of which  
is the ep that really grabbed my attention. Of Father's And Sons. I'm still getting to  
know Frank Donovan but...Oded Fehr I do know *G*. (Devote Ardeth fan here *G*) and I  
*think* I have a semi-grasp of his character so I came up with this.   
  
It's an epilogue to Of Fathers and Sons. The AG in the ep says to   
Frank "When it's your son, you take that chance" and well...the   
museae ran with it. *G*  
A Father's Fear  
by M. Edison  
--------------  
  
He was exhausted when he got home.  
  
Unlocking his door, Frank Donovan tried to push aside thoughts of the  
Attorney General - former Attorney General - and his family but found   
his usual control illusive. This one had hit close to home. Scarily   
so.  
  
If it had been...  
  
His thought was aborted as he drew his gun and targeted on the figure  
standing a few feet away: seeing who it was, he sighed in frustration   
and reholstered it. "Are you trying to get yourself shot?"  
  
The slim Latino woman smiled enigmatically. "No: but we both know you   
wouldn't have had a real chance of doing that anyway...besides, you   
knew it was me. Who else would be here this time of night?" She   
helped him with his coat then handed him a glass. "Irish coffee,   
drink up you need it."  
  
"You saw the news?" Frank asked bluntly, accepting her mothering with   
no complaint. To complain would be an exercise in futility. Angie   
always ignored it and did as she pleased.  
  
"Yes. Very crafty of you Agent Donovan." She teased with a husky   
chuckle. "Let everyone think you're still handling K&R cases when   
you've moved on to UC."  
  
A wry smile. "I thought you'd approve."  
  
Angie snorted. "When have you ever worried about my approval? Or   
anyone else 's for that matter?"  
  
"Where's Joey?" The question seemed to come out of the air but she   
knew him. It had been on his mind since the moment he'd seen her   
standing there.  
  
"In your bed: he fell asleep waiting for you."  
  
Frank handed the cup back to her and strode past. For the moment   
Angela was forgotten. She'd understand. She always did.  
  
Besides, she knew where his mind was at that moment.  
  
The case had brought it up.  
  
No one in the Attorney General's home had known it, neither had the   
agents, but it had been a struggle this time. Too close to home.  
  
`When it's your son, you can take that chance.'  
  
The phrase echoed through his mind and he sighed heavily.  
  
Every father's worst nightmare.  
  
-*-*-*-*-  
  
Standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the dimlight behind him, Frank  
stared at the slight figure curled up beneath the covers of his bed.  
  
His son.  
  
Angie moved up behind him and leaned against the doorframe. "After I   
saw the news, I brought him over. After the hell that must have gone   
on out there, I thought you'd need to see him."  
  
He glanced back at her and nodded curtly.  
  
Her eyes filled with empathy and she touched his face. "It's ok to   
let your guard down now Frank. It's just me and Joey."  
  
He took her hand in his, running his fingers over it.  
  
"The boy is seven." he commented quietly. "Joey's only a year   
younger...I started..." He cut off his sentence, looking down at her   
hand.  
  
"You started seeing him in the victim? Seeing you in the Attorney   
General's place?" Angela's dark eyes turned suspiciously damp and she   
moved to hug him. "We won't let that happen Frank. With the security   
we've..."  
  
"Security isn't absolute."  
  
"No. I know that but..."  
  
He knew what she was trying to say. "Of all the parents in the world,   
we're in a position to better protect Joey."  
  
She nodded, her hair brushing against his neck: the scent of it   
filling his nostrils. Familiar sensations stirred in him, familiar   
emotions, and he closed his eyes for a moment. She'd always been able   
to do this. Distract him. Calm him. Hypnotize him. Arouse him. She   
had the power to do all those things and more. What's more, she knew   
it. Her former career with the Agency had seen to it that Angela   
Ramirez knew how to manipulate people of every walk of life but she   
rarely did it anymore.  
  
Not knowingly.  
  
And never with him.  
  
Frank inhaled slowly then hugged her a little closer. "How long can   
you stay?"  
  
The question was quiet and simple but held so many things.  
  
"He has school but I'm off for a few days. Took some downtime."  
  
"Stay."  
  
She accepted the command with a nod as she stepped back, ever so   
slightly, and looked up at him. "He's excited to have you here."  
  
He looked past her to the little boy in the bed and he smiled. For   
the first time in a long time, Frank Donovan really smiled.  
  
Angie laughed softly then stretched up to kiss that smiling mouth   
before slipping past him. She knew he'd find her when he needed her.   
What he truly needed, first and foremost, was time with his son.  
  
Quietly, the tall man made his way to the bed, easing down on the   
edge and leaning forward to brush Joey's dark hair away from his   
forehead. The child stirred slightly at the touch and rolled to face   
his father, still sleeping.   
  
So young.  
  
Frank sighed and closed his eyes against the images. Trying to force   
the idea from his mind. The image of Ryan in Ritger's arms wavered   
and became one even more horrifying...to him at least: he now saw his   
own child...a gun to his son's head. Another agent taking that shot.  
  
He exhaled heavily, almost violently, and lowered his head.  
  
It had come damn close.  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
Joey's sleepy voice broke through his brooding and instantly Frank's   
head lifted and he smiled into his son's face.  
  
"Hey there, little man." He greeted warmly, leaning down to kiss the   
little boy's forehead. "Sleeping ok?"  
  
The little head moved in a quick, vigorous nod before he sat up and   
hugged his dad fiercely.  
  
Frank returned the hug with equal fervour. The small body of his son  
pressing itself firmly against his seemed to replace the dark images   
of moments earlier by conjuring up memories of the past. The simple   
love of a child erasing the violence that adults seemed only too   
easily capable of.  
  
"I missed you!" Joey proclaimed in his father's ear.  
  
Frank ignored the ringing the enthusiastically loud voice caused and   
sat his son on his lap, his arms balancing him and keeping him close.   
"I missed you too."  
  
"Mommy said we can visit more often now." The little boy, so much   
like his father, looked up with a smile that would have seemed out of   
place on the elder Donovan's face or at any other time. "Cause you're   
here all the time."  
  
He nodded. "I am. I'll still be working," he reminded quickly, smiling  
nevertheless. "But we'll still spend more time together."  
  
Joey's smile seemed to double in size. "Can we go to a baseball game?"  
  
Frank laughed. It seemed an unusual sound to him. Out of place but he   
liked it. "We can go to a baseball game." He confirmed with a nod.   
"Did your Mom show you your room yet?"  
  
The dark head shook a no. "She said I had to wait for you."  
  
He couldn't help but glance over his shoulder to see if Angela was   
watching. He'd expected that. She seemed to guard his time with Joey   
more jealously than he did, determined to see that the relationship   
between father and son wasn't strained. It wasn't easy raising a   
child apart but they'd never had the luxury of more before.  
  
Perhaps...  
  
"Well then," Frank stood up and swung his son onto his back. "We'll   
stop there on the way to the kitchen..."  
  
"For hot chocolate milk?" Joey asked hopefully, wrapping his small   
arms around his father's neck and leaning over his shoulder to watch   
Frank's expression.  
  
"For hot chocolate milk."  
  
"YAYY!"  
  
Laughing, Frank carried his son from the room. He'd show Joey his   
room, then he'd take him to the kitchen where, no doubt, Angie had   
started warming the chocolate milk. After that, it would be time for   
Joey to go back to bed; providing the young boy stayed awake long   
enough to finish his milk. Then...then they'd all get some sleep.   
Joey would want to sleep in his new room but Frank was reluctant to   
let him go just yet.   
  
There would be dreams. He knew that.  
  
Dreams where Ritger had Joey...dreams where Ritger killed Joey. And   
Frank wanted to be able to wake and know instantly his son was all   
right. He needed that. He needed that reassurance. Just as he needed   
to stop worrying. Stop envisioning the same thing happening to Joey.   
Stop seeing himself and Angie in the place of the Murphys'. Stop   
wondering...if it all came down to it...  
  
Would he be able to walk away too?  
  
Could he leave UC behind? Could Angie leave her work in hostage   
negotiation behind?  
  
Could they make that sacrifice?   
  
As Joey began to tell him about a field trip they'd taken at his   
school Frank knew they could.  
  
Deep down he'd always known.  
  
In a heartbeat.  
  
Nothing mattered but Joey.  
  
They'd both walked away from the Agency...they could walk away from   
what they did now.  
  
At the end of the day it was about him.  
  
Everything was.  
  
Joey was their world and whatever had to be done. Be it a trip to a   
baseball game or abandoning jobs they seemed born for.  
  
Whatever had to be done.  
  
As long as he was happy...as long as he was safe.  
  
At the end of the day, that was what it came down to.  
  
What they worried about.  
  
He understood the Attorney General better than he'd let on. If it had   
been him? Would he have been able to sit back and let someone else   
bargain his son's life?  
  
Could he trust someone that much?  
  
Swinging Joey to the floor, Frank watched his little boy run into the   
room, exclaiming his excitement over everything in sight. He knew it   
was wrong to allow yourself, and your child, to be used that way   
but...he understood the Attorney General's motivations. Was there any   
sacrifice too great when it was your son's life on the line?  
  
How far would a father go to protect his son?  
  
Joey turned, standing there in his Rocket Power pyjamas, and smiled   
at his father; dark eyes shining in excitement.  
  
And Frank had his answer.  
  
  
Finis 


End file.
